Chapter 153: Absorption (1)
Translator: bjgoofy
'These bastards are all dead today! Mere river bandits, saying what now!?'
Moon Shadow's poison should have been fully neutralized, yet it felt as if blazing flames were shooting from my eyes.
I glared at the river bandits with a rage erupting in my chest like an active volcano.
"Kehehe."
"Chief, now that's a sound I like very much! Gahaha."
The river bandits were cackling away, pleased about who knows what, but this unbearable rage of mine would soon be resolved by Cho, who carried on her daddy's will.
I sent her my intent: don't just capsize the boats, split them clean in half.
'Just split every one of those boats in half, Cho!'
But in the very moment I was certain those grinning faces would turn deathly pale and their laughter would become screams.
A faint question surfaced in my mind: shouldn't Cho have launched herself out by now, if she was going to?
'Why the delay?'
And then, suddenly, a single word sounded in my head.
-Tss? 『Why?』
A dull ringing seemed to echo through my skull.
Because out of nowhere, the question 'Why?' had sounded in my mind.
'N-no way!?'
At a moment when she should have heard her daddy's request and charged out to gallantly smash the river bandits' boats to splinters, a sudden "why" of all things... the word made my hair stand on end.
Because it seemed that of all moments, Cho had been struck by the "why phase", that stage said to visit every child at least once as they grow.
'Why did the why phase have to arrive at such a crucial moment!'
The why phase is a stage that comes when children turn four or five, beginning with trivial questions and escalating into an endless barrage of the ultimate question: why? Why? Why? Why?
Children at this stage are also called "question-mark murderers", since they slaughter their parents' sanity with question marks hanging over their heads, and I had a sinking feeling that this had now come for Cho.
Since evolving, her intelligence certainly seemed to have risen to the level of a middle or high schooler, but when it came to common sense, Cho and Bin were both still less than a year old.
'No. No. Daddy suddenly told her to go punish people, so maybe she's simply curious. Calm down, Soryong.
If she just killed people whenever she was told to, she'd be a killing machine, not a daughter, wouldn't she? Of course. Cho is growing up exactly as she should.'
Telling myself the why phase couldn't possibly have struck at such a crucial moment, that Cho was simply growing up well, I calmed my heart and was about to explain the situation to her when.
Seol noona's furious voice rang out beside me.
"Those bastards!? Mere river bandits dare!? Should I just smash them all to bits!?"
Seol noona was rolling up her sleeves, raging as if ready to leap right off the ship.
Seol noona wasn't from the Central Plains, so she likely couldn't make sense of this situation any more than I could.
"N-noona, please hold back. If we fight them, we might take down a few, but in the meantime they'll cling to the hull, punch holes in it, and sink the ship. So infuriating as it is, let's just pay the Passage Toll and move on.
It's partly our fault for not bringing the Family Banner."
"Damn it all. Back in Yunnan, we'd have caught every last one of them and fed them to the dogs!"
It was the kind of answer that said you step around filth because it's foul, not because you fear it. Hwa-eun pulled the furious Seol noona back and asked the river bandits,
"Fine. Then how much is the Passage Toll?"
"Hmm... Well, seeing as the ship's so big and fine, just hand over a hundred taels of silver!"
"A hundred taels!?"
The answer to Hwa-eun's question: a hundred taels of silver.
At Hwa-eun's incredulous question, the river bandits' Chief answered with a slimy grin.
"The 'dog food' listening in is feeling a little hurt, so we'll have to charge a bit extra! Kehehe."
"Kgh... Wait here."
The bandit Chief had apparently caught Seol noona's remark and was using it as an excuse to raise the Passage Toll.
A hundred taels of silver was quite a large sum.
Silver I had never even laid hands on back when I lived on Haenam Island.
It wasn't that we lacked the money, but I'd sooner toss it in the trash than hand it to those bastards, so while Hwa-eun went to the cabin to fetch it, I hurriedly explained things to Cho.
"Uh... so, why we have to do this... Ah! Right! Those guys said bad words to your mommy! That's right, bad words!"
What the bastard had said included words strictly for adults, hardly the sort of language fit for a child's education.
I had softened the wording, but sure enough, another question followed.
-Chirr chirr? 『Bad words?』
"Uh, well... Ah! They said Mommy isn't pretty. Those guys did!"
I had picked the word Cho, Bin, and the others were most sensitive about, but Cho only looked back and forth between her own body and Hwa-eun, then tilted her head.
What came next was a question: well, Mommy has so few legs and no antennae, so couldn't someone honestly see it that way?
To be adored by a man like Daddy, you needed antennae and plenty of legs, and Mommy, regrettably, had neither.
"M-my daughter has not only got a perfect read on her daddy's tastes, she's growing into such a big-hearted child who understands that other people may think differently... Ahaha..."
I felt a touch of gratitude that Cho had my tastes figured out so perfectly, but she had taken her daddy's preferences and stretched them into the mistaken belief that all men must be the same.
If those bastards had so much as radiated killing intent, Cho would have charged at them no questions asked, so I was at a complete loss.
I considered hurling insults at them out of nowhere to provoke some killing intent, but if they just kept jacking up the price over being cursed at, like before, that would do more harm than good.
And that was when a very good idea came to mind.
'Ah! That's it!'
"Cho, then how about we play a game with those misters over there?"
-Tssrit? 『Play?』
"That's right, it's called tag. When you show yourself, those misters will probably scream and run away, and you catch every single one of them so they can't escape. It'll be so much fun..."
As I explained the game of tag, Cho sent over a feeling of delight.
-Choot! 『I wanna!』
"Good. First, let's go flip their boats over so the misters can't run away!"
-Tsurururu!
The moment my explanation ended, Cho finally floated up from behind my back.
As Cho wriggled lazily up into the sky, the river bandits who had been looking up at our ship went round-eyed, their mouths falling wide open.
"Th-that..."
"Th-th-th-th-that..."
"That..."
The river bandits pointed at Cho, jaws hanging open, unable to get another word out.
"What are you idiots all blathering about...!? Hu-uuuurk!"
A beat behind the rest, busy with something else, the bandit Chief looked up at the sky and froze solid. The sight of a six-meter giant centipede flying through the air boasted a truly overwhelming presence, after all.
Then Cho tilted her head, letting out an adorable, dainty sound.
-Tssrit? 『Start now?』
At the sound, the river bandits flinched violently and fled to the far ends of their boats, as far from Cho as they could get, and I answered the waiting Cho's question with a smile.
"Yes! Begin!"
The deadly game of tag.
-Crack! Splash!
The moment my answer left my lips, Cho's massive tail end swung around, snapping a boat clean in two, and the river bandits' screams began to spread wide across the water.
"Gyaaaah!"
"M-monster!"
"Gyaaaaah!"
For Cho, it was the start of a game of tag; for the river bandits, the start of a catastrophe.
***
A six-meter giant centipede playing tag is great fun for the centipede, but for her playmates, it's a game played with their lives on the line.
And no wonder: why else do grandfathers and grandmothers with four- or five-year-old grandchildren end up in the hospital with broken ribs and limbs?
Because children can't control their strength when they play.
To the child it was just a playful jump, but if the landing spot happens to be Grandpa or Grandma's ribcage, someone is bound to get hurt.
-Crack!
Having snapped three boats clean in half, Cho scooped up a river bandit who'd been swimming for his life and hurled him toward a boat with her tail.
-Thud! Splash!
The bandit sailed through the air and smacked flat against the side of the boat.
As he slid straight down its hull and dropped into the water with a splash, Cho's gleeful cry rang out.
-Tsurururu! 『So fun!』
"Aaaaaargh!"
"R-run for it!"
"That's it, Cho, just finish them all off!"
Cheered on by Seol noona, Cho rampaged among the river bandits like a dragon run loose, darting this way and that, smashing boats and herding the men toward the center with sheer menace.
And amid that scene of utter Pandemonium.
Hwa-eun, who had gone to the cabin for the money, was startled by the sounds of Cho's rampage and rushed out onto the deck, her eyes flying wide.
"Soryong! S-stop Cho! Th-the Unwritten Rule of the martial world..."
She seemed worried about some Unwritten Rule of the martial world or whatever, but what did a rule like that matter right now?
I gripped Hwa-eun's shoulders and said,
"Hwa-eun, there is nothing I hate more than bastards who covet what's mine."
"What!?"
"So those bastards need to be taught a lesson."
At that, Hwa-eun cupped her flushed-red face and nodded with a dazed expression.
It seemed she had realized exactly what "what's mine" in my words referred to.
Hwa-eun's permission was as good as granted.
Just as I was pondering how to grind those bastards down more effectively, I heard the sounds of new players hoping to join the game.
-Hisss?
-Tsurur?
Yohwa and Bin had appeared from the direction of the cabin, asking to be let in on what sounded like something fun.
'Guess this game's about to get a few more catchers?'
***
Yohwa shot her threads at the men fleeing Cho and reeled them onto the ship like a fisherman hauling in a catch, and with Bin standing menacing guard over the hauled-up lot, the river bandits were swiftly subdued.
And as Yohwa and Cho hovered above the kneeling men, counting up how many each of them had caught, the river bandits wailed in terror.
-Tss, tsur, tsurur. Tsurururu.
-Hee. Hee-hee-hee...
"P-please spare us!"
"W-we were wrong! We had no idea you were an extraordinary master of the martial world, and we gave grave offense!"
"Please spare us!"
Bound in Yohwa's threads, the river bandits clamored for their lives.
They seemed to think Yohwa and Cho were deliberating over whom to devour first, but the two were merely tallying who had caught more.
I shouted at the clamoring men.
"Quiet! From this moment on, any man who utters so much as a single word gets fed to the Spiritual Creatures as a snack!"
-Tsurururu!?
-Hisss!?
The ones startled by the talk of snacks were, ironically, Cho and Yohwa themselves.
After reassuring the two that I was only joking, I found myself stuck on what to do with these bastards, so I asked Hwa-eun.
I had rounded them up in a fit of anger, but I hadn't thought a single step beyond that.
"Hwa-eun, by the way, what exactly is this Unwritten Rule of the martial world?"
"Ah, river bandits called the Yangtze River Water Route Stronghold operate here in the Three Gorges of the Yangtze. It's a Tacit Agreement: they don't touch ships flying the banners of the Nine Great Sects or the Seven Great Families, and we don't move to wipe them out."
"Ah... and without a banner, you pay the Passage Toll?"
"Yes, Soryong."
"Well, we've gone and broken that Unwritten Rule. So what happens now?"
Whatever the reason, the fact remained that we had broken this so-called Unwritten Rule.
When I asked what would happen, Hwa-eun answered with a somewhat grave expression.
"These men aren't all there is to the Yangtze River Water Route Stronghold. The Stronghold is an association of many bandit groups, and since we've attacked one of them, once word gets out, the other bandits will harass any Tang Family ships or people trying to use the Yangtze.
Then we'd have to offer ceremonial gifts by way of apology. They're martial artists too, you see."
"Even though those bastards insulted you, Hwa-eun? When killing them would still be letting them off easy?"
"I-I'm grateful for the sentiment, but... a-anyway, that's how the Unwritten Rule works..."
Hwa-eun's cheeks reddened once again.
I seemed to be racking up points with Hwa-eun one after another, but my head was a tangle.
If this went wrong, we might end up having to present apology gifts to a pack of thieves.
'Seriously, beggars are martial artists, thieves are martial artists, and now even river bandits are martial artists? What a headache.'
After mulling it over, I decided to gauge their reaction first.
They were so thoroughly terrified that it looked like the whole affair might be smoothed over easily.
So I winked at Hwa-eun and spoke in a chilling voice.
"Where I used to live, there was even a saying: where no one's left alive, there's no one left to make noise..."
And when I cast a sidelong glance at the men, the bandit boss flinched in horror, flattened himself against the deck, and cried out.
"N-nothing happened today, and we saw nothing! Spare our lives and our lips are sealed! O-of course. You may rest assured!"
They were thoroughly frightened, no doubt about it, but I couldn't relax just yet.
People always sing a different tune once they're out of trouble.
They might well tell a different story later.
'They do seem pretty scared... but what should I do? How did people usually settle accidents back in my past life... The police? Insurance companies? A settlement? Ah! That's it! A settlement! There were settlements, weren't there!?'
As my thoughts ran on, what surfaced in my mind was none other than the on-the-spot settlement.
By the standards of my past life, the best method in a situation like this was to settle right there on the spot.
After all, even in a traffic accident, settling in cash at the scene is simpler and better than everyone calling the police and the insurance companies.
You weigh each side's share of the fault, exchange the settlement money, even write up a pledge, and then no one can change their story afterward.
"Hwa-eun, couldn't we just reach a settlement right here?"
"A settlement?"
"Yes. Just a moment."
As Hwa-eun tilted her head at my talk of a settlement, I turned to the bandit Chief and asked in a chilling voice,
"Nothing happened, you say? When you lot, blinded by greed, stormed a Tang Family ship and tried to plunder its goods? Even snapping the Family Banner over there to dodge the Unwritten Rule?"
Ah, of course, the settlement ratio was 10:0.
*****
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